So today at work I was listening to "Spirits in the Material World" by The Police, and it reminded me how when I was little I always thought they were saying "Spirits in the Cheerio World." What a fun world! It would be even more fun with Madonna around, because she was the Cheerio Girl. Living in a Cheerio World! Sounds like a swell idea for a movie. Maybe there's a crisis in Cheerio World with all of the Cheerios getting soggy or something, so Cheerio Girl travels through a wormhole to our own world to solicit the help of a pack of ragtag orphans and a crotchety railroad hobo who needs the healing power of love. And his dog. Ooh, this is getting good. Maybe we could get Nick Nolte to play the hobo.
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| This man was BORN to play a scary hobo who is healed by love. |
| Song | Actual Words | My Misinterpretation |
|---|---|---|
| "Bungle in the Jungle" (by Jethro Tull) | "I'm a tiger when I want love" | "I'm a tiger with a wall glove" |
| "The Confrontation" (from Les Miserables) | "Monsieur Le Mayor, you'll wear a different chain" | "Monsieur Le Mayor, you'll wear a different chair" |
| "The Confrontation" (from Les Miserables) | "I was born inside a jail" | "I was born inside a chair" |
| "Tiny Dancer" (by Elton John) | "Hold me closer, tiny dancer" | "Hold me closer, Tony Danza" |
| "When You Love a Woman" (by Bryan Adams) | "When you love a woman, you tell her that she's the one" | "When you love a woman, you tell her that she's a woman" |
| "Abracadabra" (by Steve Miller Band) | "I heat up like a burnin' flame" | "I heat up like a bird in flames" |
| "Hot Blooded" (by Foreigner) | "Hot blooded, check it and see" | "Hot burnin', check it and see" |
| "Down Under" (by Men at Work) | "You better run, you better take cover" | "You better run, you better take a bus" |
| "Forever in Blue Jeans" (by Neil Diamond) | "I'll always be forever in blue jeans" | "I'll always be the Reverend Bluejeans" |
| "You're the One That I Want" (from Grease) | "You're the one that I want. Woo woo woo!" | "Wubba dubba doo wah. Woo woo woo!" |
| "Hey Santa" (by Carnie and Wendy Wilson) | "Hey Santa" | "Hey sinner" |
| "The Way It Is" (by Bruce Hornsby and the Range) | "All they see at the hiring time is the line on the color bar" | "All they see at the hiring time is the light on the cummerbund" |
| "What a Wonderful World" (by Louis Armstrong) | "The dark sacred night" | "The dogs say 'Good night'" |
| "Come Sail Away" (by Styx) | "Set an open course for the virgin sea" | "Set an open course for emergency" |
| "Piano Man" (by Billy Joel) | "You've got us feeling all right" | "You've got the Spirit all right" |
I also have a few very special ones from a certain Alyssa. Oh man, am I going to be sleeping on the floor tonight.
| Song | Actual Words | Alyssa's Misinterpretation |
|---|---|---|
| "Vienna" (by Billy Joel) | "Vienna waits for you" | "The N.R. waits for you" |
| "Belle" (from Beauty and the Beast) | "I need six eggs!" "That's too expensive." | "I need success!" "That's too expensive." |
What's also fun is when you've heard a song a billion times but you still always think they're going to say something different from what they actually say. Some personal faves:
| Song | Actual Words | What I Think They're Going to Say |
|---|---|---|
| "O Come All Ye Faithful" (by Felix Mendelssohn) | "Born the king of angels" | "Born the King of England" |
| "Breathe" (by Anna Nalick) | "So cradle your head in your hands" | "So cradle your head and rejoice" |
| "We'll Sing All Hail to Jesus' Name" | "Salvation was His song" | "Salvation was His middle name" |
| "Bring On the Rain" (by Jo Dee Messina and Tim McGraw) | "So bring on the rain" | "So bring on the bacon" (don't ask--seriously) |
| "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" (by Billy Joel) | "My sweet romantic teenage nights" | "My sweet romantic Swedish nights" |
Okay! Now that the important stuff is out of the way, on with the actual stuff that's been going on since I last blogged a month and a half ago. First off, Ting-Ting had her first ever celebrated birthday. Apparently at the orphanages in China they just celebrate all the children's birthdays on the same day, June 1st. So this was pretty spesh for her. Nai-Nai and Ye-Ye came up from St. George, along with Uncle Moldy Holdy and Auntie Em, and we all went to the zoo. This was great fun, especially when a killer monster murderstorm hit and we were trapped under the carousel with about 100 other people for a half hour while we waited for the storm to die down so we could flee. It was like something from one of those lame end-of-the-world movies that have been so unpopular lately. "I'm gonna go for help." "But you'll die!" "Pfff! Me die? I scoff at you." (Dies.) (Repeat ad nauseum.)
After we escaped the zoo we joined up with Uncle Slim and Aunt Jujie and Aunt Julie (no, they're not twins) and went to Old Spaghetti Factory. This was also interesting, because the moment our waitress learned that this was Ting-Ting's first birthday in America, she took her into the kitchen and gave her a popsicle and, like, three containers of ice cream. Cool lady. (No pun intended there. I WISH I was that clever.) For a "birthday cake" for Tingers, Alyssa made cupcakes with Thin Mint Minnie Mouse ears and cherry Tootsie Roll bows. Ting-Ting is pretty big into Minnie Mouse. Most of her presents were Minnie-related, including a Minnie bedspread for her new BIG GIRL BED. Or, to be more accurate, her BIG GIRL BOX SPRING AND MATTRESS. Because we haven't actually bought a, what do you call those things, bed yet. But big girl! Yay!
Last Monday was Labor Day, and we went to Carolyn's cabin, where scarfing hot dogs, riding four-wheelers, and seeing moose was the order of the day. Ting-Ting went on a four-wheeler with me and McKell and didn't cry once, even when we were set upon by a savage grouse. What a trooper. Me being the botanical hero I am, I also went on a nature walk and found some really funky mushrooms that I think were cross-bred with marshmallows to produce the cute but sinister Pokemon-like entity you see before you:
If anyone has any clue what that thing is, please to let me know.
Alyssa and I did a flute/piano musical number in sacrament meeting on Sunday. We were supposed to play "Beautiful Savior," but due to unavoidable circumstances caused by me never practicing my part of the song, we wound up deciding to do a different, easier song at the last minute. (Yeah, the program said "Beautiful Savior." But it also said Alyssa would be playing the violin, so we don't feel too bad.) But t'was lovely. We were a little concerned about leaving Ting-Ting all by her malarkish lonesome while we played; luckily, a pre-Beehive armed with Smarties saved the day, as they so often do.
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2 Comments:
You seem to think that a lot if lyrics are "chair." May I remind you of "the chair is not my son."
Yeah, Jann and I had a long and life-changing discussion about that one just a few weeks ago. Don't know why I forgot to list it.
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