Hola. So Alyssa and the Tingster have done left me and gone off to Californy. For five days, anyway. Some cousin's wedding or such. My thinking up until now was along the predictably husbandish lines of, you know, go buy myself a few six-packs of ice cold guanabana Jumex and party 'til the crack of dawn. But wouldn't you just know it, I'm bored out of my mind. The last time I had to go this long without Alyssa was just before we were married and I was living in an attic with no power, living off of Pepperidge Farm cookies, and working at that crappy temp job at Icon Health and Fitness alongside the recently paroled prisoner with the knife fight scars all over his head, his rogue's gallery of prisoner buddies, and the Amway guy. Ah, sweet memories. Well, not really.
It being quite a stretch since my last post, there's a lot to catch up on, so here goes stuffing:
- We went to St. George at some point. I don't know exactly when. (I told you it's been a while since I've posted.) While there we went to Gunlock Lake; took full advantage of my parents' recent Italian soda obsession; and tried to expose Ting-Ting to the water a little more. This hasn't been easy, as she throws a two-year-old tizz in the pool when we try to let go of her, even if she's wearing a life jacket and standing in two feet of water. Maybe something really traumatic that was water-related happened to her in the orphanage, like somebody tying her up and dripping water on her forehead. Oh wait, that was Holden. By...umm...my mom. Umm...I love you, Mom!
- Alyssa and I celebrated our eight anniversary by going out for Ethiopian food and then playing pool. As Darla from Little Rascals would say, "How romantical!" Actually the Ethiopian food was quite delish. They have this bread called "injera" that's kind of like a mix between sourdough, a crepe, and a crumpet, and you pretty much use it as silverware to scoop up the rest of your vittles. Good stuff.
- Rhet stayed with us for two weeks while Emily and Kelly were in Japan. That trooper slept in the pirate room THE WHOLE TIME and never got scared once. We had us some good times, and I actually managed to beat him and Alyssa at "Settlers of Cataan" once. Without cheating! Woot. We also went to Now You See Me, which I knew Alyssa would be into, it being about a crack team of sexy young people who steal stuff. Her favorite genre of movie. Don't ask. I think maybe she was Bonnie (of Bonnie and Clyde) in a previous life.
- We arranged a family activity involving riding bikes on the Jordan River Parkway and picking currants and skunkbush berries. That's right. Good wholesome berry-picking as a family unit. Except for Ting-Ting, who mostly ate the berries until we told her to stop and then spent the rest of the time trying to wander into the path of oncoming bicyclists. Anyway, we used the currants in some uber-lovely muffins and pancakes. As for the skunkbush berries, I followed my former Wildland Shrubs instructor's advice and soaked them in water overnight, wanting to try the famous Native American "skunkbush lemonade" I'd heard so much about. Yeah, it was pretty much the most disgusting thing I'd ever tasted. Go on! Say it! "Uhhh, Ben, what did you really expect from something called 'skunkbush lemonade'"?
- We took Ting-Ting to her first Taylorsville Days. (Or is that "Dayzz"? Probably. Dang Utah.) She and Bethany's children had oodles of fun on the various rides. (Wish I could say the same for the ride operators. The merry-go-round guy looked like his terminally rabid dog had just mauled a group of schoolchildren.) We also enjoyed a yumster teriyaki chicken dinner courtesy of G-Ma.
- Alyssa had her li'l self a berfday. We went to Seven Peaks in the morning. This was interesting because Alyssa and I took separate cars, and Alyssa (who had our passes) had to take Bethany to some car place a bazillion miles away to get her car, so Ting-Ting and I ended up at Seven Peaks first and had to sit and wait for Mom-Mom (as Ting-Ting calls her) for a good forty-five minutes before we could go in. But it was fun once we were in, notwithstanding the fact that there were probably enough people crammed in there to rival the population of Sri Lanka. And Ting-Ting actually did water stuff this time and didn't cry. Up until the very end, after she'd been down the Murderslide and various other deadly devices without batting an eye and we were almost done, and she suddenly decided to throw a tantrum for no reason whatsoever. Aww, our little angel is already turning into a teenager! After Seven Peaks we had an impromptu birthday party for Alyssa at our house with hamburgers and Brazilian lemonade and whatnot, and I gave her my present--lifetime GPS updates. Huzzah, now we'll never get lost again! (Just watch us somehow wind up in Mexico before the month is through.)
- Saturday we went with Bethany and her kids to the Natural History Museum. Would you look at us--shrub identification one day and science museums the next. Parental education at its finest. Are me and Alyssa just Kevin and Darla Goodparent, or what? (Yeah, I don't know where I came up with those names, either.)
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