Of Empanadas and Frescolita, Pathetic Small Town Parades, Funcle Ben, and Alyssa the Irish Fluter

Epale mis panas! That's Venezuelan Gangster for "Greetings, my esteemed home-dawgs," in honor of the fabulous empanadas we made tonight. Mmm daddy. The only thing that would have made the meal more authentic would be a nice frosty bottle of Frescolita, which tastes pretty much like what you'd get if some big guys with really strong fists squeezed all the liquid out of a pack of Bubble Yum. I know. Sounds weird. But it's amazing what you learn to love when you're stuck for two years in a developing tropical nation with no A&W. (Just ask Alyssa. Seriously. The next time you see her, ask her about "balut." You'll be pleasantly surprised, I'm sure.)

So pretty much the only noteworthy event for the past month was when Alyssa and I headed to Grand Junction, Colorado for the dual purposes of getting her flute repaired (since the lady who sold her her flute lives there) and visiting Tyson and the Beefinator and their kiddies. Good times, especially the "parade" we watched, the high point being a group of guys dressed like Islamic terrorists who were enthusiastically denouncing airport security. Yeah, weird. But they gave out good candy. Other than that, the parade consisted mostly of elderly folks driving by in cars (you can never have too many elderly people driving by in cars when you're at a parade) and people in the most pathetic assortment of old Halloween costumes you ever did see, walking around and selling raffle tickets. There were several clowns, a Donald Trump guy yelling "Buy raffle tickets or you're fired!", a man dressed up as a sexy Chinese woman, a Jessica Rabbit, etc. Ah, small town parades. Gotta love 'em.

Aside from the parade, we played board games until we were whiny from the frenzy of it all (okay, actually just me), visited a chocolate factory, had dinner with Bethany and Tyson's ward friends, and laughed ourselves silly over Grand Junction's street-naming system, which makes Salt Lake's streets look like they were named by Emily Dickinson in comparison. Seriously. "Yeah, I live right on the corner of 24 & 1/2 and F & 3/4. You can't miss it." Oh, and we had plenty of good times playing with Eden and Leila too, and I took the chance to educate Eden on the proper method for conducting a bank robbery. "Get down on the ground, ya wise guy, or I'll fill ya fulla lead!" Man, no wonder I'm considered the "fun" uncle.

The only other big news is that Alyssa is playing her flute for an Irish-themed wedding on St. Patrick's Day. Yeah. Some woman found her name on ksl.com and called her up. And of course, Alyssa, as you know, could NEVER say no to anyone who espouses a culture that believes in leprechauns. It would go against the very foundations of Alyssa herself.