Of $1600 Flutes, Creepy Modern Art, Death by Orchestra, JACL Celery, Hansel and Gretel at Work, and Heart to Heart Adoptions

Hi folks. Here it is, April 9, well into spring, and it's snowing like a Svalbardian Snow Banshee. Must be all this global warming. That movie The Day After Tomorrow was right. I'd better watch my step, or me and a ragtag pack of survivors (including a homeless guy with a dog) could end up getting chased around a Russian cargo ship by ravenous timber wolves while searching for penicillin and would have to seek shelter in the Murray Public Library and burn the books for warmth. Make no sense? Well, neither did the movie.

Anyway, it's been almost two months since my last post, and a lot of crazy malarkey has happened in the meantime. Therefore I am going to list said malarkey in a nerdy technical writer-style "bulleted list" format that enhances readability by providing additional white space and utilizing "chunking" to break the paragraphs into smaller sections. Man, I have been doing this for way too long. Time for a career change. Anyway, here goes:

• Alyssa bought her little self a brand spanking new $1600 flute. I tried to dissuade her. Honestly, I tried. But trying to dissuade Alyssa from anything involving the flute is like trying to hold back the Amazon with toothpicks. Her new flute does sound way better than the old one, though. Speaking of flutage, I think she has eight or nine students now. Go Lizard go.


• We went with Holden and Emily to a museum of the "creepy modern art" variety, at which the undisputed high point was when we sat for about 15 minutes watching a supposedly 3-D movie involving guys made from lines jumping around (yeah, that was pretty much the premise of the movie), and we kept saying "I think the 3-D glasses are broken; they don't seem to make any difference," and it was only after we'd gotten up and left the theater room that someone (Emily, I think) realized that the 3-D glasses had an ON-OFF BUTTON to enable the 3-Dness. We may not be technologically savvy, but you've gotta love us. Just like the Beverly Hillbillies.


• We went to an Orchestra at Temple Square concert featuring the world premiere of some monumental orchestral work by some Dutch guy. And when I say "monumental," I mean about 45 minutes long. No movements or anything. Just one ridiculously long, oft-times kind of hideous orchestral work. Actually, the real high point of the number was when some woman died in the middle of it. At least, we think she died. We saw that a woman was laying on the bench on the balcony across the auditorium from us and there were ushers and a few other people gathered around her, but no rescue people showed up until intermission. And when they finally did show up, it was just two firemen. They did something with oxygen, then they carried her away. We're pretty sure she just couldn't take any more "monumental-ness."


• Last week we attended the annual JACL (Japanese-American Citizen League) fundraiser, at which we tried our hand at Bingo and the raffle, as usual. Most years either me or Alyssa wins something gnarly, but this year was pretty much a bust. All we took home for our pains was a sponge, a candle, and some celery. Yeah. Celery. Yippie-kie-yay.


• My work has begun a very strange tradition of stocking the break room with salt-, sugar-, and fat-laden goodies and ordering lunch for everyone two days out of the week and dinner pretty much every day. Not to mention Bagel Mondays, Friday Lunch and Learns, and our monthly "Team Lunch." Supposedly this is to boost morale and, in the case of ordering lunch and dinner, keep us working longer (which is kind of ironic, seeing as how there's been LESS work lately, not more). I'm getting a little creeped out by the whole thing though. It's like they're trying to fatten us up, a la "Hansel and Gretel." What's even weirder is that the lady who has always spearheaded our fitness programs was JUST FIRED. Yeah. Creepy.

Besides all that, we're currently in the process of applying for adoption through a new agency, Heart to Heart. One of the most expensive agencies around ($30,000 is normal), but supposedly you can adopt through them in three to five months. The way I see it, we can do that, or we can keep going the route we're going and wind up like the elderly couple from Up. (I've already got the crotchetiness, so I'm well on my way. Plus, one of our lifelong dreams is to visit ANGEL FALLS. Aaahhhh!)

Alyssa being her presh self

Trey showing his stuff at the JACL dealie

Me getting ready for a long night of being disgusted

I made this diorama one Sunday afternoon in Boise when I was really bored. Bet you can't tell which classic work of American literature it represents! (Hint: The author committed suicide in Ketchum, Idaho.)