Of Pearson, Cruel Arby's Flashbacks, and New-Fangledness

Well, it's official. Alyssa and I both have jobs. Never would have thought it would happen so fast (especially for me, the guy who once got turned down by Arby's for saying in his interview that "I'm not very good at following instructions"--yeah, I seriously said that). Alyssa will be working at Sorenson, translating conversations for deaf people, or something (I've never understood very well). I just got hired by Pearson, the company that produces Penguin Books as well as just about every big-name textbook under the sun (Prentice-Hall, Scott Foresman, etcetera etcetera). I'll be writing specifications for their ESL software, so that should be just gobs of jolly good fun. We both start Monday. Go us!

Alyssa's family is having a honking big garage sale tomorrow. I don't think any of us will be sorry when it's over. Alyssa and I are planning to buy one of those new-fangled movie projectors that you can hook up to a DVD player. We'll be the toast of the town (or at least the toast of the ward youth program).

Of Juniper Systems, Making the Greens Do the Entire Sacrament Meeting Program, and...OH MY GOSH, Look How Precious Alyssa Is In That Picture!

Okay, these last few months I've been the Granddaddy of All Rapscallions and haven't written a dang thing in my blog, but I SWEAR I'M GOING TO PLAY IT STRAIGHT NOW. So what's going on lately? Well, I graduate with my Master's in one week, for starters. And we're moving to Salt Lake on the same day (for my credit, I was totally against that idea). Where? Alyssa's parents' basement, until we both have jobs and find an apartment or house. Yeah, neither of us has jobs. Well, actually, Alyssa does...for two more days. As for me, I was hoping to get one in Logan with Juniper Systems, a company that creates outdoor computer equipment. Alyssa and I drove all the way down there and stayed with her cousin Doug and his wife Kassie and a good time was had by all, except that I got violently ill, I think from Cafe Rio (which is a shame because I love Cafe Rio). But old J.S. decided to take a different route and get an outside contractor (gnash my teeth!). I've applied for several jobs in the Salt Lake area but haven't heard back from very many. I think it's because I'm not a local candidate and they don't want to pay for me to relocate, the cheapskates. Hopefully everything gets better once I'm actually in Salt Lake.

There's probably other stuff I could talk about, but I'm supposed to be writing a talk for church tomorrow on Strengthening Home and Family. Plus I have to accompany TWO DIFFERENT MUSICAL NUMBERS. Can you say "Let's take full advantage of Ben Green before he moves by making him do the entire sacrament meeting program"?

And you know something else? Alyssa is hot. She pretends like she thinks she's not, but she is and she KNOWS IT.

Of Gimshee, Boise Work Situations (or Lack Thereof), and Novel Writing

What's up, my home-dawgs? This being the first ever post on the first ever GimsheeRama blog, I thought I'd start off by answering the question that's no doubt on everyone's mind right about now... what the heck is "gimshee"? Well, you may have heard the expression "deep gimshee," as in "You kids are gonna be in some deep gimshee if you throw rocks at my greenhouse!" So gimshee pretty much means "trouble," but around here it's...well...the kooky and fun kind of trouble, like putting Cheerios in somebody's sandwich when they're not looking (an Alyssa favorite!). In the Green household, it has also come to mean a mass of any substance either without a name or whose name can't be remembered, such as the stuff inside Sloppy Joes. Proper usage in this context would be "Oh great! I just got some of this green gimshee all over the floor!" There! Now you speak fluent Gimsheese! How about that?

Well, to explain pretty durn quicklike what's going on around here... Alyssa is working two jobs, one at HP cooking food and the other at Sam's Club... cooking food. She's a fine little chefstress, that one is. As for me, I'm an independent contractor for Eduwriters.com, meaning that roughly once a month some guy in Reno sends me a writing assignment and I usually end up turning it down because it's on a topic I know diddly squat about, like marketing. What am I supposed to do, go out and take an advanced marketing course so I can make $24? I thinkest not. So, unsurprisingly, I've only finished one assignment so far, and I've still never seen any money. Probably a scam.

In the meantime, I've been looking for something temporary for the rest of the summer, but it's kind of complicated because we only have one car and the bus system in Boise is a nightmare. I was actually offered a 6-month contract to work at HP but I turned it down. What? Turn down working in the same company as my wife? Well, yeah. To be completely honest, I have absolutely no desire to write software documentation. I know that's what about 90% of technical writers do, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing something I know I'll hate. In a few weeks I'm supposed to interview at Healthwise, a company here in Boise that writes consumer health information. Now that sounds like something that would be up my alley! English and biology. Perfect combination. Next week they're supposed to send me a writing exercise via email, so hopefully I'm ready.

So what am I doing in the meantime? Mostly working on my novel. It's about two cousins who wind up on a Philippine island populated with humans who are slowly degrading into animals. Right now I'm just writing out the outline, which is now up to 46 pages. And I'm not even halfway done! Earlier this year I made a goal to have draft 1 of the book done by the end of September. At the rate I'm going, I'll be lucky just to have the outline done. Oh well, I suppose I'm making some progress, even if it is just the outline.

Well, the li'l wife and I are off to bed. Toodles!