Of China and Ting-Ting

Merry Boxing Day, y'all. So we're back, with an honest-to-goodness two-year-old in tow, along with plenty of memories and tacky souvenirs to boot. And yes, Celesta Ting-Ting is more adorable than we could ever have imagined, and a sweetie pie of the highest order most of the time (except for when you make her take off her shoes, at which point look out). She doesn't really speak much of any language at this point, although when she's in a good mood she spouts off plenty of adorable two-year-old jabber. She also eats pretty much anything (except cheese, oddly enough) and goes down for sleepy time without a fuss. She even went on four different flights, one ten hours long, and never cried or whined once the entire time. I don't even think you could say that about most teenagers. What a woman.

Anyway, I thought that for this blog I would create a travelogue of our Scrooge McDuck-esque globehopping adventures. So here goes nothing. (By which I mean, here goes a lot of stuff.)

Thursday, December 6. We depart for Seattle (after spending most of the morning trying to unclog the kitchen sink), expecting to get on our connecting flight to Beijing that night. Engine problems mean our flight gets pushed to tomorrow afternoon and we get to spend the night in the swankiest Comfort Inn in glamorous Seatac. 

Friday, December 7/Saturday, December 8. We actually depart for Beijing this time, after going on a shopping spree at the airport gift shop with the $50 vouchers Delta has provided, netting our little selves a neck pillow, a watch for Alyssa, a Bigfoot doll for Ting-Ting, two movies (Iron Man 2 and Hugo), and various other items that elude me at the moment. We arrive at Beijing at midnight, and our expected bumbling commences in true Green fashion when we accidentally overpay our taxi driver 200 yuan (about $32). Apparently you are supposed to pay them 2 yuan more than what the meter says, for fuel, but because we couldn't communicate he just raised two fingers, and we for some reason thought that "2" in this case equated to "200." Yeah, I don't know how we're still alive to this day either. (And no, he never gave us back the 200 yuan.)

Sunday, December 9. After spending the night in a hotel that pretty much equates to a cave, temperature and fixtures-wise, we walk to the nearby Drum and Bell Towers and climb to the top of both, and loveliness abounds. (We had expected to spend more time in Beijing, but that delayed flight from Seattle kind of puts a damper on that. But hey! Free Bigfoot toy!) We then meet our guide for the first week, Cindy, who accompanies us to Shijiazhuang, capital of the Hebei province, where Ting-Ting's hometown of Chengde is located. Our hotel here is the height of swank (and I'm serious about that for once), on account of foreigners are not legally allowed to stay anywhere with fewer than five stars. The city itself is, for lack of a better word, a manure pit. Nine million people and absolutely nothing to do, and even if there was, you wouldn't want to do it, because there is so much smog you feel like you're going to get lung cancer just by leaving the hotel. It was also freezing out, and actually snowed the last few days. But hey! Dumplings for dinner. (In fact, I'm pretty sure we ate dumplings every night we were here.)

Monday, December 10. We go to the hotel lobby at 11:00 a.m. and get the best Christmas present ever--a certain young whippersnapper named Ting-Ting, to be specific. The orphanage officials also give us a jump drive with ~360 photos, a hardcover book with pictures of Chengde, a fan, and all of the clothes and toys we sent to Ting-Ting in packages. I don't know how most of the orphanages in China are, but we're certainly glad our daughter was brought up in this one. The staff there seem to have honestly loved her and given her everything they could, and I say, God bless them. Anyway, Ting-Ting is understandably shocked by the new changes, although she attaches quickly to me for some strange reason. (Alyssa takes a few more days.)

Tuesday, December 11. We meet with various officials in order to complete our adoption registration. Ting-Ting also enjoys her first ever Micky-Dees chicken nuggets. Awwww. 

Wednesday, December 12-Thursday, December 13. We travel to a local monastery and see lots of sweet statuey thingies and incense burners. We also walk to a nearby museum and Alyssa buys traditional paper cut-outs of all of the Chinese zodiac animals. And that pretty much exhausts all of the cultural outlets in Shijiazhuang, and we spend the remaining time bored out of our gourds. On another note, Alyssa can't find her emergency yuan stash in her suitcase and suspects that the housekeeping staff has stolen it. However, this will not become a major issue until next week.

Friday, December 14. We fly to Guangzhou, where we meet our new guide, John. Guangzhou is much more pleasant than Shijiazhuang, and there are actually things to do and places to go in the vicinity of our hotel on Shamian Island. It even has--get this--Subway! Where we eat roughly half of our meals for the next week. Because come on--Subway. There is also a children's playground (which is taken over in the mornings by old people stretching for their tai-chi workouts), a river with boats, and various cultural activities that take place in the park all throughout the day. 

Saturday, December 15. We travel with John and several other families to the medical clinic for Ting-Ting's check-up and TB test. This is not Ting-Ting's favorite activity, and there are a few tense moments when we think she might actually try to kill the doctor. Later we go shopping around Shamian Island and end up spending almost all of our yuan. But hey, no problem, because we can just get more from the ATM, right? Well, not exactly--we can't remember our pin numbers, on account of we just got new debit cards because Alyssa's wallet and checkbook were stolen. In desperation we Skype Becca and Shawn with what little power remains on the laptop (since the cord doesn't work with the converter we bought) and ask them to ransack our house to find the numbers. This they do, but we still can't get them to work on the ATM. The situation is looking bleak--we have 6 yuan to our names and no known way of getting more. We do have a $50 traveler's check and $39 in American money, but the bank doesn't open until Monday, and unless we do some serious budget-o-rama, we are going to be in waist-deep financial doo-doo.

Sunday, December 16. First thing in the morning I head to the ATM to try another number. This doesn't work, and as I fret over the situation in my trademark lovable bumbling fashion, I forget to take my debit card, which is swallowed by the machine as a security measure. D'oh indeed. However, soon afterwards, Alyssa has a moment of inspiration and decides to search her suitcase again for the 500 yuan supposedly kifed by the hotel staff in Shijiazhuang. Lo and behold, there it is. Man, this story is going to be fast and testimony meeting GOLD next month. However, 500 yuan isn't a lot, considering that we still need to pay John $15 a day in tips. We are not out of the woods yet. Aside from this, I can't remember anything that happened this day. Probably a lot of bumbling and fretting.

Monday, December 17. We go to the bank in the morning in order to exchange American currency and deposit the traveler's check. Neither of these activities goes smoothly--we are only able to exchange $19 of the $39, and as for the traveler's check, we made a tremendous boo-boo seven years ago on our honeymoon, when I signed this particular check. It being seven years later, my signature has changed significantly, and now the tellers have trouble believing that I am the same guy. So they make me PRACTICE my own signature for an hour and a half so that it matches what's on the check, and even after that they think I'm faking. Fortunately John shows up and gets things sorted out. Later we head back to the medical clinic for the results of Ting-Ting's TB test, and then it's off to the zoo. We think Ting-Ting enjoys it, but it's kind of hard to tell, as she would rather grab the wheels of the stroller while it's in motion than look at the animals. As for me, I'm annoyed that we never actually get to see the chimps, tigers, and elephants but we spend, like, 20 minutes looking at llamas. You know me. I'm a zoo guy. I have to see everything.

Tuesday, December 18. We finally get my debit card back from the bank. I try it again in the ATM and, sweet Granny McGillicuddy, it actually works this time. Praise the Lord and pass the tax rebate! (Ten points to anyone who can name the Disney movie I just referenced.) Today for our family activity we leave Shamian Island and explore the more "traditional" shops in Guangzhou, by which I mean the ones selling live turtles, caged chickens, and mystical herbs that would probably be rejected by J.K. Rowling for being too kooky for Hogwarts. We do find some super bargains, including "panda shoes" for Ting-Ting and a sweet futuristic-type belt for yours truly.

Wednesday, December 19. Today we travel with John and another family in our group to the Asian Games Park, at which you can see many of the major attractions in Guangzhou, most notably the magnificent three-billion-dollar stadium that was built for the Asian Games in 2010 and, aside from the opening ceremony, has never actually been used. We also saw the Canton Tower, the world's tallest building for like two years before the Japanese built a bigger one; the Guangzhou Opera House; the IFC Building, the world's seventh-highest building; and some pretty gnarly fountain shows.
  

Thursday, December 20. On this, our last full day in Guangzhou, we go to the American consulate to submit the paperwork for Ting-Ting's visa, after which we visit the Pearl Market so Alyssa can buy some much-needed "bling."  

Friday, December 21. While waiting for John to arrive to take us to the airport, we head back to the traditional market area and visit the Pet Market, which has pretty much every kind of pet you can imagine--kittens, puppies, turtles, rabbits, crows, cockatoos, newts, Guinea pigs, you name it. Ting-Ting loves it and tries to pet everything she sees, which is weird in retrospect, since she won't even go anywhere near Snoop Birdy Bird without throwing a two-year-old tizzy. After that we're off to the airport, where we have a scare when it turns out that we have booked Ting-Ting's tickets under her American name, while her passport contains her Chinese name. Again, for the umpteenth time, John intervenes with his mad Chinese-speaking skills and helps defuse the situation. Man, where would we be without that guy? We should give him a lot of money. Oh wait, we did.

Saturday, December 22. After sixteen total hours of flying, a four-hour layover, and five security checkpoints (yeah, kind of stupid, considering that there were only three flights), we arrive back at our home sweet home. And that's all I've got to say, because this blog is really stinking long and I'm sick of writing it. Next post...Christmas! Maybe. Depends on what kind of mood I'm in.