Of Grandpa's Funeral, Hector Preciousness, St. George Refreshment, Mustard-less Boise, Post-Apocalyptic Central Oregon, Hootenanny-ing in Klamath Falls, and Scurvy Pirate Beds

Greetings. It's been quite the biz-zay month, with very little time for bloggage. So, of course, it now being a Saturday morning with Alyssa gone to some children's health class and me having little to do (actually, I probably have plenty to do--fix the holes I accidentally put in the walls when I was moving a TV, weed the front yard, mount the carbon monoxide detector we bought about eight months ago, etc.--I'm just being lazy right now), it's time to go nuts, baby. Prepare to be sprayed in the face as I remove my foot from the Fire Hose of Bloggery!

Towards the end of last month, we headed to Idaho Falls for my grandpa's funeral, which was very nice (a stark contrast to the last two Green funerals we attended, which we now refer to as the "Dear God!" and "Shut up, we're prayin'!" funerals, referencing dumb but memorable quotes made by two wacky uncles). It featured a wonderful life sketch and tribute by Nick and my dad, respectively, as well as lovely musical numbers by Holden (piano) and Alyssa (flute, with me accompanying). My dad complains about having to speak at these kinds of events, but he always does great, and he knows it. (Plus, he has a long-standing tradition of sneaking in at least one cuss word, which is always entertaining.) He talked about my grandpa's military service in World War II and Korea, his example of patriotism, his willingness to put his life on the line for his country. He also talked about his willingness to reach out to those in need, whoever and whenever it might be. I occasionally poked some good-natured fun at him from time to time for his "crazy old world" speech, but, in my mind, that speech is what he was really all about: "It's a crazy old world out there, and we've just gotta help each other out." Definitely words to live by. In addition to the funeral, it was great to see all of the Greens together for the first time in who knows how long, with a new addition--Sheridan and Beth's baby, Hector, who is, yes, dang adorable. It will be even more adorable if he gains a Texas accent while yet in his youth. "Hey Ma, can ya'll fetch me another cookie?" Awww.

Fourth of July weekend Alyssa and I headed to St. George for no reason except to chill it up. (Literally...the condo there actually has air conditioning, so we thought, why languish in the heat in Salt Lake, when we could be nice and cool in St. George?) We hung out with my fam, went to the Fourth of July parade in Cedar City (always a treat watching Alyssa try to beat the little kids to the candy), went swimming with Holden and Emily, and saw their new place. Also Wiied it up, as usual. And I creamed Alyssa at the cow racing like THREE TIMES! Then, of course, she figured out what she was doing wrong and it was back to kicking my butt as usual. But it was bliss while it lasted.

Finally, the week before last we went to Oregon for Alyssa's week-long family reunion. We took a slightly longer route, through Boise, so that we could visit most of our old chums, and it was loverly. We stayed at the Valentines' place, in their African animal-themed basement (that Verla sure likes leopard spots!). Verla wasn't around, having headed off to Georgia to visit family, but Lee was as fun as ever, and we even saw our old buddy Bishop Dowdle at one point. We spent much of Saturday hanging with the Wadsworths--going to the zoo with Lanae and their two kids, Lane and Jenna, and making pizza at their place later--as well as hitting the farmer's market (no Mom's Mustard, unfortunately, which was pretty much the reason we went) and the new Filipino restaurant. Sunday, on the way to Oregon, we stopped in Nampa to visit Daniel and Trista and their new twins, and that was pretty awesome. So glad everything turned out okay for them.

I'll say only this about the drive through Oregon to Klamath Falls: Not a single freeway, and I recall a stretch of road at least 100 miles in length where I never ONCE saw anybody in front of us or behind us. If we had run out of gas anywhere there, the vultures would probably have picked our bones clean by now. We were also amused by a sign reading "WAGONTIRE, OREGON. POPULATION: 3." Funny state, Oregon. If you've never been there, you think of it as being a slightly hip, California wanna-be state with a lot of bikini car washes, organic food stores, and beavers. True, but only along the coast. The entire central-eastern region is pretty much a vast wasteland, like the kind you'd see in a post-apocalyptic thriller starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

At the reunion, good times were enjoyed by all. We went to Crater Lake (where we bought a sweet ranger hat and were nearly sucked bone dry by mosquitoes) and a fish hatchery, rafted the Rogue River, did some caving, played some Bingo, saw a whole birdload of gnarly birds at the Klamath Wildlife Refuge (including ibises and heron), and even had our car break down on us on several occasions owing to the fact that the brilliant mechanics at Tunex put in an incorrect brake light the day we left Salt Lake. (I know. Isn't that a crazy reason for one's car to break down? We'll be telling our grandkids about that one, make no mistake.)

Oh yeah. And before I forget to mention it, Alyssa bought a "Pirates of the Carribean" bed at a garage sale for $70. Is it any wonder I love that girl? We also found our little selves a rad sword to hang on the wall next to it. Yarrrr!